It’s very late at night; another hot night. There’s a clear sky, and a fine ray of moonlight light the smoke that lazily dances away from my cigarette… I’m dreaming again… with my eyes wide open. It seems that I can’t get much peace lately – the past keeps coming back to haunt me. Well it’s not exactly haunting… it’s one of those memories that won’t sit in its place… it want a place in the spotlight.Right. In the spirit of a hot, clear, but still mystical summer night…This is how it happened… This is how I met my match – slayer of any malice I might ever feel…
The year was 2003.
I knew this guy, with whom I’d had a fling a little while ago. It was a couple of months before the New Year, and I really had no plans whatsoever – me and a very close girl friend of mine. So eventually we decide to spend New Year’s together… because we didn’t really feel like hooking up with others. But after some more time pondering, we thought maybe we should get some more people, throw our own party. So, she gets the crazy idea to invite that guy I knew. At first I was totally against it – it’s not like he’d been that great; but she said I should, because it beats being alone anyway and it should be fun in any case. All right – so I send out all the invitations… and look out – here’s the response: the guy asks if he can bring another guy he’d met. I figure what the hell, maybe we’ll have a threesome – that should start off the new year in the best of ways; but first let’s fuck around with him for a bit. So I go “are you coming to spend New Year’s with me or with him?” and I get a proper excuse/apology; something about him just meeting the guy, and that he’s really nice and stuff. Little did I know…
Well, everything being set, I was expecting them on the evening of the 29th. And they came; actually it was kind of late. And there it was – the first encounter. Me on one side of the sidewalk and Him on the other; there he stood: tall, dark and… well, rather handsome. So we were officially introduced and then got into the house and introduced everyone to everyone else. So there we were: me, my best friend, Him and the Guy.
As much as I can remember… I should try to make some comments now. Like I said above – there he stood: tall, dark and handsome. Isn’t that everyone’s dream? He had the most perfect mouth, with full, cherry colored lips, and an absolutely flawless smile, which he loved waving around. Then there was the expression of his eyes – which I had a better chance to see later; I noticed what they projected, that is the perfect picture of innocence, of a good heart, of purity. And no, I’m not saying cause I’m in love. That was what I noticed – I have a very fine sense of observation.
The next day was his birthday – I think he was turning 24. So we took a little time to get comfortable, had a glass of champagne, and got talking. I don’t really remember what we talked about, but I do remember that I was expecting an awkward situation, and it was anything but. I also remember he was really embarrassed when he met my friend, but after a couple of hours of socializing, they actually became quite good friends.
Bedtime came, eventually. Sleeping arrangements were quite obvious – my friend said she’s take the living room and the three of us should sleep in the bedroom. All right – so there were three gay men in a bed; threesome you’d say, wouldn’t you? I thought so. But it didn’t go down quite like that – you’ll find out the reasons a bit later. What happened was a round of mutual masturbation; and I had the best seat in the house, the one in the middle. I already knew all about the Guy’s dick, but He was a totally new experience. And what an experience it was! He had what is my idea of a great body – just a little muscular, lean and slender, hair in all the right places, and even a tiny mole here and there. After this episode we all went to sleep, and I fell asleep right away – because I usually do. Later that night, I experienced a very strange awakening… I was first aroused to a state of semi-consciousness – I knew something was going on, but didn’t know exactly what. After that I realized His hand was on my dick, and I was getting hard like crazy. Too bad; as much as I would’ve liked another round I was very tired, and then there was the matter of the other Guy next to us (come to think of it, I wouldn’t have minded that). Anyway, I didn’t mind whatever he was doing there and I went back to sleep; eventually he stopped. I wanted to tell my friend the next day, but didn’t get the chance.
My second conclusion was: he’s hot! I guess maybe we didn’t start right on the path to intimacy. However, something was starting to happen. I couldn’t tell anything at that time, but time always refines memory. I guess I was captivated from the very first touch, although it had nothing romantic in it – quite the opposite really. I don’t even know why we did. Maybe we felt like we all had to do something? My take on it is that it probably would’ve gone further, but I didn’t really any more sex with the Guy (it hadn’t been that good the last time), I feared I’d be to concentrated on Him and, well, He didn’t want anything to do with the Guy.
The next day we were all busy making preparations for the party (it was the 30th). Since I’m really not the housewife type, I kind of stayed away from kitchen. I did all the shopping, made provisions of cigarettes, and tidied up the place a bit. Meanwhile, He and my friend spent almost the entire day in the kitchen, cooking. She’s very gifted when it comes to cooking – she even baked a delicious cake. I and the Guy spent the day talking chit-chat; the “girls” would eventually join us; he talked about some guy’s he’d fooled around with recently, we watched TV, etc.
Throughout the day my friend and He became really good friends. They share common view on many things, had some similar issues in their lives – I guess they talked about that. Enough to say they really bonded. Eventually I got a moment alone with my friend – in the kitchen. I wanted a taste of the food, as usual, and we got talking about the whole situation. I was a little worried about her feeling awkward with three gay men in the house and her being alone. Also I knew she felt a little sad cause none of her “flings” could be there. She told me how the two of them bonded, and that he’s a really nice guy. I remember her saying exactly that “he has a good soul”. From our little talk, and also from everything else I had gathered talking to Him, I did get the idea that He was a nice guy. I also thought of him as simple/modest – that actually meaning rather plain, rather silly and a bit unrefined; all of which I found a bit charming. All through the day, I kept on observing him – his moves, his talk, his ways, and I did find something tick-ish… couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was.
In the spirit of first impressions not always being right, I will se the record straight. At present I know it all comes from his beautiful soul. It’s the blunt honesty, lack of any kind of dissimulation that makes him look plain at first; the fact is that this might be the ultimate form of self confidence. I think it’s what I loved most about him. One whose innocence had been left untouched, that still dreams and believes in all that is good in the world, one that can wear his heart on his sleeve. At first, I didn’t really feel anymore than a certain physical attraction but, with the further development of events, I found that still waters run kind of deep.
Night came again; and it was time for bed. In the meantime, my friend had ended up with a despicable cold, so she went to bed a little early. This time I sent her to sleep in the bedroom; after all she was sick, poor thing. The three of us hung out for a couple more hours, I showed them my porn collection, we talked some more and stuff. Bedtime. We were supposed to sleep in the living room, only that the sleeping area was a little smaller here. So He gets an idea – He says someone should go sleep in the bedroom with my friend. That’s when my light bulb went on. I got the idea, but being the little bitch I am, pretended I had no clue what He was saying – I even said I’d be more than happy to go sleep with her, after all she’s my friend. Nobody said anything, and we went about our business for another 10 minutes or so. Then, the same thing – someone should go sleep in the bedroom. It was getting kind of funny, so I said that since nobody wants to, I’ll go. Then, another couple of times the same thing, with me giving the same answer. Eventually He says that the Guy should go sleep in the bedroom – not directly to him, He said it for all of us. It was pretty obvious now, but the Guy wouldn’t have it… stayed quiet like a tomb.
Seeing as nothing was going to happen, I said I’d go; and I did, leaving the two of them to figure out the rest. So I got in bed beside my friend, which was feeling even worse. I just asked if she was sleeping out of courtesy, because I woke her up anyway. “So look…”, and I told her the whole thing.
Now for the twist. She told me. She said that He really liked me, and they’d been talking all day, and he’d asked about me. All day he’d been looking for a chance to catch me alone – too bad for him. I was quite surprised actually – didn’t expect it. She urged me to go back and get in between the two of them. She also told me what the deal was with the Guy and Him: that they’d just met, and the He didn’t really him, but had agreed to come nonetheless, because he didn’t have any other plans. Also, I remember her stressing that He didn’t want to be alone with the Guy, because he didn’t want to have sex with him I guess – poor baby was actually a bit terrified. She also pointed out that I should think about how He’s going to feel in the morning, how he’d think I didn’t like him and it would all be very embarrassing. And again, she said he’s really nice, that she thinks we’re right for each other, and that I shouldn’t leave him there alone.
Despite my friend’s persistence, and probably despite all good reason, I didn’t go back with the guys. Since our talk had lasted for almost one hour, I figured they’d be asleep by now, and I would only bother them – but I knew they wouldn’t have minded. Moreover, I thought it would look kind of stupid for me to come back after such a long time. What? I couldn’t sleep so I felt like dropping by for a fuck?
It was that night that I had the revelation. It was then that I first thought of him as more than just another guy. I guess I’d noticed it on my own, but I wasn’t aware of it yet – his big heart, his charm, his whole way of being – like an open book, but one of those books you just can’t get enough of. And I guess all of that was reinforced by my friend – whom I trust blindly; if she says so, then it’s got to be true. I spent good part of the night thinking about him… I really hadn’t had the chance to know him very well, but from my friend had told me I figured he was definitely worth some time.
Next morning (it was the 31st) I overslept, naturally. When I finally got up, it immediately came to my mind what I had to do. So I went into the kitchen to get my coffee, and there he was, with my friend – talking over coffee, what else? So I mumbled a good morning greet, and went straight for my coffee; I sat around a bit and observed – everyone was like holding their breath: my friend looked like she was waiting for something to happen and He had a look of fear and suspense in his eyes, while I was kind of snickering behind the coffee mug. So after a couple of sips, I gently rose up and went to him, said “good morning” again, and finally kissed him. Maybe it was adrenaline from the coffee, maybe it was dizziness from the cigarette I’d smoked, but I felt like the ground was suddenly running from under my feet. It went on for a whole minute – almost without stopping to breathe. It was the feel of lips on my, his taste, the way he kissed – I felt like I’d just gotten my first kiss; and in fact I had – it was the first real kiss, one of those that always leaves you wanting more, that you can never get enough of.
That day, preparations for the party went on. Only this time I was doing rounds between the kitchen and the living room; we didn’t want the Guy to know we’d hooked up, so we had to pretend like nothing was going on. I was always hungry that day, so I kept going into the kitchen to get a bite, or another cup of coffee, or whatever – I was actually getting a bite, but out of something else. Eventually all was set, and my friend, who was still sick, went in the bedroom to rest for a while, and He went with her. I had to stick around in the living room and play the gracious host, obviously. But, again, every once in a while I went to check up on the patient. And that’s how all day passed – us sneaking around to get a kiss, a caress, a touch.
I don’t know whether it was the sexual tension that was building up, but by the end of the day I was mesmerized. I felt the same thing coming from him – I saw his face whenever I came into the room, I felt the longing in his kiss, in his touch, in all his body language. It was the most erotic experience ever – we were both going at it like there was no tomorrow; and, in fact, there really wasn’t much time. That day he said he was planning to stick around a bit longer after the Guy would leave. And my friend said we made a really great couple and that she’d be really happy for me if things would work out between us.
It was finally party time. Everything went quite all right. We all danced around (fooled around is more like it) for a while, we took pictures, ate and drank some. I tried my best to act as normal as possible, and I think I pretty much pulled it off. Still I couldn’t really hold it off… whenever He got near me I had an irrepressible urge to touch Him, to kiss Him. Eventually midnight came, and it was time to kiss under the mistletoe! So let’s deal with that then. Of course when it came to kissing Him there was another amazing tongue kiss, but this time we had to restrain ourselves a bit; the Guy wanted tongue too, but I kind of pushed him back on that. The party went on till around 4 o’clock. We still made a few escapes to the kitchen though.
In the meantime, a counsel was in order. Me, my friend and Him, had to think about sleeping arrangements again. That night, I and He had to be alone. So, we conclude that, since the living room was a bit uncomfortable, and we’d been smoking the whole night, we should all sleep in the bedroom. The plan was that us love birds would sneak out later and get together.
That’s exactly what happened. We bunked up in the bed… quite uncomfortable actually, but still. So we waited around for a while, and then His phone rang; that was easy – he got out of bed and went back to get the phone. Now it was my turn. I didn’t know if the Guy was asleep; so this took really long. Meanwhile, He was calling me on my cell – which I didn’t hear anyway (it was in the other room too). My getting out of bed took about a quarter of an hour. They all knew I tend to talk in my sleep and twist around when I’m tired, so I used that. I gently slid to the side of the bed; I guess that took about 5 minutes. Now I had to get down gently. So, I started to gently slide out of the bed – little by little – at first just the feet, then the legs, then the hips, until I only had my head on the bed. That must have taken me about 10 minutes, cause I stopped every now and then to check on what was going on. Meanwhile, my friend though I was asleep, so she had started throwing tissues at me; she didn’t get my anyway, just made a waste. Eventually I was out of the bed and out of the room.
Going in, I found his restlessly walking around the room. We just stood there for a bit, looking at each other, breathing harder, feeling each other’s skin. We started kissing. At first it was so light, it felt like a feather – it was ecstatic. It started getting heavier and heavier, the touching became harder, like we were afraid one of us would escape. Eventually we hit the ground, and all hell broke loose. It was like there was no stopping us – none of us would stay still. We were all over each other. His fine, warm breath on my skin made me twitch and twirl with pleasure, and his taste, his smell, the feeling of his skin on mine were sending all of my senses through the roof. It went on for hours. He used to twitch violently whenever I licked his torso, whenever I went on his back, and under his arms, and I could feel his body trembling in my hands. I was trembling too, but I didn’t notice it personally; although, every time he touched me, every time his tongue drew tracks over my body, it sent shivers right to the deepest part of my brain.
We went on like that until early morning. It was about 9 I think. The sun was up, although you couldn’t really tell – it was one of those winter mornings; later it shone really bright. We smoked one last cigarette together, and then we went to sleep, at opposite sides of the bed, to pretend like nothing had happened. I don’t know how the Guy took the next morning; I woke up late as usual. I guess he figured it out, cause he looked kind of upset. I still pretended like nothing happened, and the later accompanied him to the station, cause he’d said he’d be leaving.
As for us lovebirds, we spent another couple of days alone. I don’t remember what exactly we did; probably small things that one does when in love (sort of). I still remember the need for togetherness, for intimacy, that especially I felt at almost any time. Those days I got the feeling that I knew him since forever, that somehow we’d met in a previous life or something – our time together, the things we did, the whole atmosphere gave me that particular feeling.
Eventually, our little impromptu ended. I accompanied him to the station this time… savoring our last few moments together. Then, as the train slowly started to go away, I did reach out for his hand one last time. And this is important to mention, cause I would really not do this for anyone. Coming back to the empty house, I still had a smile on my face – something beautiful was going on, and something quite new to me. Curiosity was pushing me forward; I had no idea what was going to happen, but I was looking forward to it nonetheless.
[…]
